Working in retail is, as a general rule, a nightmare. There seems to be a prevailing attitude that people who work in retail, especially at supermarkets and fast food joints, aren’t actually people – so it’s perfectly acceptable to treat them like shit.
And sometimes you get those “extra special” customers who are just completely irrational and aggressive, and enjoy taking their pathology out on other people. These are some of those stories.
This is one of the many tales of retardation surrounding one particular customer, whom I want to shove under a bus. She purchased a birdseye chilli for $0.30, then wanted to return it and get a refund. Due to our fantastically stupid return policy, we did so. However, when doing the refund it became apparent that the woman had actually been undercharged by $0.15; the cashier informed her of this, at which point she demanded a refund AND the chilli, because it’s a “scanning error.” She got her $0.30 back, and further ensured that everyone in the store hates her that little bit more.
Another incident involving the above woman (there are so very, very many to choose from). She brought in a capsicum that had been cut in half, and had developed mould on the open half; she demanded a refund, and a free replacement. When I asked to see her receipt, I noted that she had bought the capsicum OVER A WEEK AGO. By the placement of the mould, it had started to develop after she had cut it open, and probably stored it improperly because she’s an idiot. Management acceded to her demands and gave her a refund and a replacement capsicum. The only victory against stupidity was making her take a capsicum that weighed more or less exactly the same as the one she originally purchased – which I did when she tried to get one twice the size of the original.
We suck pretty badly at having price tags up for everything, which often makes people irate. This woman went beyond irate and hit “what the fuck is wrong with you” within two sentences.
Her: (Loudly and angrily) HOW much are these potatoes??
Me: I’ll just double check these price tags, sometimes things get moved around.
Her: I already looked, there’s no price tag, AS USUAL. I buy these potatoes ALL THE TIME and they NEVER have a price tag on them. (If you buy them all the time, how do you not know their price?)
Me: Sorry about that, I’ll just scan them and check the price … they’re $7.
Her: Are they SEVEN dollars, or are they SIX NINETY EIGHT???
Me: … $6.98.
And then I left to take a deep breath and count to ten out the back.
Fish I Didn’t Want Anyway
While I was putting out sausages in the fridge, and a woman comes up to the fridge, looks at the fish section and angrily declares “Oh for God’s sake, there are no basa fillets AS USUAL.” Note that she declared it to the air, because fuckwit customers really enjoy making loud, angry comments to “no one in particular” while standing really close to an employee. Most of the time I just ignore them, because if they can’t be arsed acknowledging that I’m a person by actually addressing me, fuck them.
Then she turns to me and spits “Why don’t you ever have these in?” When I offer to go have a look out the back and double-check that we don’t have any in stock, she informs me “No, I don’t want any today anyway. You just NEVER have them in.”
I Buy It, Therefore It’s Incredibly Popular
A woman at the cigarette counter wanted a pouch of Holiday loose tobacco. I didn’t know Holiday even made a loose tobacco, and I’m pretty damn familiar with cigarette products. I had a look, and we didn’t have any, and there was no tag to indicate that we stocked it.
When I informed the woman of that, she blew her stack and starting ranting about how we never have any in stock – to which I tried to explain that there is no tag for it, which means we probably don’t stock it anymore (if we ever did, but I omitted that comment).
She then demanded to know “Why have you stopped stocking it, when it’s the most popular tobacco there is??” I managed to refrain from commenting that a) no, it’s not, and b) I didn’t personally make the decision not to stock your goddamn brand of tobacco. Instead I went with a non-committal “I don’t know, sorry, they do all kinds of weird things with our tobacco lines.”
But, of course, she wasn’t done acting like a tool yet, and started telling me how “she’ll NEVER shop here AGAIN,” to which I responded… “Fair enough, you have a good day.” And walked away.
Is it any wonder I absolutely despise the human race? Stay tuned for more tales of Crazy Customers, because Gods know every day presents me with more material. And rage. Raaaaaaaaaaaage.